Loverless (a journal entry July 12, 2022)

I wanna be in love so bad I'm afraid I will love just anyone

I love the feel of the sun on my skin

and a hot shower burning my skin slowly

the shaking sound my bracelets make

bare lips in the cold

an ill-fitting t-shirt

and unshaven cheek

as I've gotten older

my vulnerabilities have grown, as have 

the desire for them to be shared

and understood; simply communicated

This world is so bland and uninteresting

sometimes I forget it's all a choice,

I forget that even though my parents 

love depends on my success and achievements

my future lover's doesn't necessarily

it's amusing how stupid I can be 

how I dream too much but I can come

back to reality soon enough to 

appease worried eyes

and discourage eager souls from 'stumbling'

into my life to unsolicitedly help

thank goodness I'm so good at 

saying goodbye then

It feels so freeing to experience 

something new; maybe being

loverless isn't too terrible

~ NO